Friday, December 31, 2010

Before

After
Caution:  Watching Fox News While Wearing an
iRenew Bracelet Poses a Serious Acid Trip Hazard
Blizzard Causes All 100 Cars in North Dakota
to Pile Up Near Fargo
Zombie Economists to Consider Ethics Code
Very gradually, Ralph Peters began to suspect that
even he had 'leftist tendencies'.
He needed to go really bad, and the hearing
had just begun.
"I like the way you say 'slavery reparations', Steve."
"I see BLACK PEOPLE!!!"
They say Enu Mainigi was hired primarily to style
Rick Scott's hair.
Warm Scuzzies #132
Lanny Davis

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Remember the day when the best media criticism
became nonverbal?
Even Republican pollsters, like Frank
Luntz, are fat.  There's a reason for that,
but he will never ask the question which
would reveal the answer.
Gary Bauer believes Muslims in America are treated better than
Christians.  Well, if he is representative of Christians in
America, it's understandable why that would happen.  But,
in truth, he looks more like someone who should be a
representaive of that very rare sect, the Albino Chameleons.
Although he never talks about the Master of Invective Arts
degree he received from Driftglass University, Stephen
Colbert never fails to put it to good use.
"Dadgumit!  I have a license from the Doghouse Riley
School of Ranting, and I can rant anytime I want to!"
Mitt Romney Accepting Meg Whitman's Challenge to Waste
More of His Own Money in 2012 Than He Did in 2008
If you've ever wanted to see how presidential timber dies
from the top down, take a gander at Mitch Daniels and
Haley Barbour.
Pigs Seek Higher Ground to Escape the Rising
Tide of Haley Barbour/Boss Hog Analogies
"Sure it hurts, but think about how much your kidney donation
is saving the taxpayers of Mississippi.  And, oh, by the way,
Governor Barbour wishes you a Happy New Year!"
"OK, Scott, how much for the flag lapel pin?"
"Well, I ..."
"All right then, a copy of the Book of Mormon
and $5 down. Must be my final offer!"
"Really, it's not for sale!"
"Not for sale, what does that mean? If you're
a Republican, everything's for sale!"
China Announces Beltless Anti-Gravity Breakthrough
"You say I'm descended from wolves? 
Sure, sure, sure, tell me another one!"
Roy Edroso Being Decontaminated After His Latest Descent
into the Right Blogosphere
Alec Rawls, son of the renowned philosopher, John Rawls,
demonstrates the truth of Nietzsche's dictum, namely, that
a married philosopher belongs in comedy.  Or, at the very
least, that the son of a married philosopher is destined
to become a comedian. 
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #257
Bobby Franklin
To guarantee absolute fidelity to the text,
Republican members of the House of
Representatives should be required to read
from the original Gouverneur Morris
handwritten version of the Constitution.
World's Worst Yoobs #84
Jessica Yellin
Vatican Creates Financial Watchdog
Hey! Mr. Tangerine Man, Shed a Tear for Me
"I am NOT a crooked witch!"

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Have you ever wondered why there are
so many more wine snobs in the world
 than Fritos snobs?
"Take it from me, Algonquin J.
Calhoun, Allen West is not nearly

as smart as he looks."
On that day, Paul Tillich's doctrine of the 'Eternal Now'
began to lose its grip on their imagination.
Even as a child, Samson knew the Philistines were
out to get him.
"Many people don't know this, but my ego is much, much
larger than my body."
For the life of him, Sarko the Giant couldn't figure out
how mirrors worked.
Other than cutting off its corporate subsidy, there is still no
known way to kill a Libertarian zombie, like Nick Gillespie.
Scientists warn that the risk of 'Death by
Astonishment' will increase exponentially
when the Republican-dominated House of
Representatives convenes on January 5, 2011.
New Study Reveals Conservatives Have
Larger ‘Fear Center’ in Their Brains
Discovery of 400,000-Year-Old Cavity-Free Tooth
Indicates Crest Toothpaste Was in Use Much
Earlier Than Once Thought
The latest advance in Tea Party technology will make taking
America back to the 1950s a little less traumatic.
Andrew Breitbart Using His Mac to Order an

Electric Bath Duck
"I understand, Judith, that you've made the great leap from
the New York Times to Newsmax.  Congratulations!  If you
eventually make it all the way to WorldNetDaily, you will
have hit the trifecta.  Call me when that happens, and I'll
fix you up at Fox."
Frosty the Dickhead Controversy
Rocks Small Indiana Town
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #256
John Moore
As he shoveled snow, he couldn't decide if it was a cold
war relic or a Cold War relic.
Concern Troll

Concern Whale