Saturday, September 07, 2013

Dennis Rod-un Sez: "Supreme Leader of North Korea Is a
Friend for Life"
Little Known Fact #42
More Friesian Holsteins might work as waitpersons in 
restaurants if cow-tipping weren't against the laws of 
physics.
"My Senator looks like he just swallowed a toad.  
Should I be concerned?"
"Watch him closely for the next few hours, and take him 
to the vet only if he starts foaming at the mouth."

Friday, September 06, 2013

Oxymorons for Our Time #158
Lori Saine
"Life is just a bowl of cherries, 
So live and laugh at it all."
Would you buy a used ShamWow from this man?

Thursday, September 05, 2013

What if thousands of voyeurs decided to work together in 
one place?  Well, they already do and the place is the 
National Security Agency headquarters in Fort Meade,
 Maryland.
If 'moderate' Syrian rebels summarily execute their prisoners,
imagine what 'radical' Syrian rebels do.
If using chemical weapons is a 'moral obscenity', what do you 
call the U.S. selling $641 million worth of cluster bombs 
to Saudi Arabia?

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Kamikaze Pilot Agrees to Attack Any Aircraft Carrier with
a Critic of Miley Cyrus Twerking on Board
Fearguth's Rules of Order #59
If your cock is almost as tall as you are,
do not agree to fight it in the arena.
"Well, Benjy, I was a Vietnam Veteran Against the War, 
that's true.  But that was the Vietnam War, which ended
 so long ago.  To tell the truth, I've been rather fond of war 
ever since then."
"We are talking about people being killed by gas and you 
want to go talk about Benghazi and Fast and Furious.  We 
want to kill people with Tomahawk missiles, for Christ's 
sake, so let's get serious, shall we?"
Boy with Pipe Says the Idea of a Nobel Peace Prize Recipient
 Ordering the Bombing of Syria Is an 'Unmanageable Irony'
Brad Dayspring Found Babbling Incoherently While 
Wandering Around in the National Republican Senatorial  
Campaign Committee in an Empty Dress
Oxymorons for Our Time #157
Sovereign Nation
Warm Scuzzies #426
Chief Darren Raney
The 'Boots on the Ground' John Kerry Tripped Over

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

"John McCain in Crisis, Loses Big on iPhone Poker
During Senate Hearing on Syria"
"President Barack Obama’s push to retaliate militarily 
against Syria took a major step forward Tuesday after 
securing forceful endorsements from House Speaker 
John Boehner and Mr. Bungle."
"My dear friend, we were born to be wild.  So, let's get our
motors running and head on down the highway!"
"Look, Maureen, another geek bearing gifts!"
Speaking of the Washington Post, Jeff Bezos said,
"I'm not a magician.  I can't turn a sow's ear into
a silk purse."
American Toad Trying to Swallow Syrian Mouse
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #30
Pete Olson

Monday, September 02, 2013

Q:  What do you call the Side that has Charles 
Krauthammer, Barack Obama, Bill Kristol, 
John McCain, John Kerry, Lindsey Graham, 
Joe Lieberman, David Cameron, Darth 
Vader, and David Brooks on it? 

A:  The Dark Side.
"I am the walrus, Pu Pu Pu Tin!"
Just in Time for Labor Day:
The Machine That Goes Ping!
Tucker Carlson Blames Swanson TV Dinner Overdose
for Snoozing Episode on Fox & Friends
Secretary of State Laurel Tells Dems U.S. Faces 
‘Munchies Moment’ in Syria Decision
"Like Bill Whittle says, I and my family are anti-American, 
anti-capitalist, anti-Christian, and anti-morality.  That's 
why we've been on commercial television since 1999."
The role having been empty since Saddam Hussein was
executed in 2006, Syria's President Bashar al-Assad
has become the latest in a series of Adolf Hitlers to
goosestep on the world stage.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

After being placed on indefinite suspension, Mark Kessler
appeared as though he had been coldcocked.